The News...inspired by Mayer Hawthorne.

So how many times do you need to see someone before you finally see your exit? How many times do you need to test the feeling you are having inside? When have you finally had a enough?

Well...I think me and many of my friends answer is...you just can't put a time limit on said decisions. It happens naturally. I can say today that it has "happened". I had to Blow someone One Last Kiss(thank you Pink for always making the right song always when it is needed). There's a bit of heartache but only because it's someone you once knew a certain way and now - it's not enough. After this experience I can finally say goodbye to the old me. It was sort of a release of all one's past loves that had no potential of fitting within your life's requirements. That is...my friends what we ultimately look for when we are out there scouting for our life lovers. After you have grown up and have experienced enough shit in your life to finally see the real you. AND who exactly is going to allow you to be yourself and live the way you intend while remaining happy.

Once we have screamed through our chest for the final time - THIS IS WHO I AM AND I LOVE IT!!!! We begin to create the new Us - maybe this starts to occur most around 30? I don't wanna put a specific on that because I am not aware of actual research and some are late...late...bloomers. Anyways, dating becomes new - or the relationship in which you are already living in starts to bloom into this new - grown you's. It becomes easier to make instant decisions about someone or something - that's if you stay true to yourself(it's hard and we are challenged daily). I remember a year ago - I was on a date with someone and I suddenly felt "It" - THIS was not gonna work. I spoke instantly and said you know what? I think I'm gonna go home. I wish you the best. ...and WOW!!! This feeling rushing over me was intense! I was honest, real, and true to myself and it FELT AMAZING!!! Now I didn't say that there wasn't gonna be some lonely nights because that would be a lie. BUT, the feeling of being perfectly content with who you are starts to become your new best friend and the fear of not having someone(as in, just ANYONE, to do just deal with) slowly slips away. With this - the new you starts to shine and finding the great one(cause there is no right) is like Mario Brothers Nintendo - collecting mushrooms and jumping blocks makes tapping the ? marks all the more fun!!! Anyway...back to the real point of this - letting go of something I knew I should was a great feeling. It was the last of the ? marks in my old life and WHEW do I feel great!

Let him/her go.

You will feel better. The Great One will arise!!! And most of all...Love Yourself. THAT is the true answer to any question.

beSelfish. enter.resting.

the INTRUDER!

WHO left all these dishes in the sink while I was at work?

WHO is pulling all the damn covers!

WHO left all this junk by the computer - used tissues, empty cups, papers not addressed to me!

WHO left the nozzle in the shower at a level that is obviously meant for someone who may stand at 6’4?

WHO DIDN’T PUT THE DAMN TOILET SEAT DOWN?????

Geesh.

A houseguest moved in to my home for a month and it immediately brought back all the reasons why I live alone. I started thinking about every previous roommate, boyfriend, relative, etc. that has stayed with me at some point in my life and found myself locked in the bathroom, with headphones, cigarettes and my trusty cell phone, in case I needed to call for help while I was hiding in my own house!

I’m going to continue my story with the MAN intruder rant…

It really doesn’t matter if you are male or female, although guys are generally the ones who like to say they cant stand living with someone - I beg to differ. When a woman decides to take in a houseguest of the male persuasion, we are immediately placed into an ideal role of what the heck we should be doing and/or deal with while this “HOUSEGUEST” is Intruding on our personal space.

You leave for work…no, no, let’s start at the VERY beginning…You wake up. Suddenly someone is expecting you to feed them, make them coffee, and still take care of the kids, get ready for work and then make sense of how you allowed yourself to get trumped. Then, you leave for work, continue with all the crap you gotta deal with at work - then head over to 3 hours of class, which entails you listening to some boring lecture about something you wont remember after the quiz.

After that you’re driving home, to what you think is the house you left earlier that morning and then WHAM! You walk in the door and EVERYTHING IS NOT HOW YOU LEFT IT!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! That was me - screaming, thinking about the past. Dishes are every where, tissues all over, toilet seat up - and don’t forget you’re walking into the house with a hand full of groceries when suddenly your oldest child comes down screaming “MOM!!! THE TOILET IT OVERFLOWING!!! HURRY!!!” - you slam the bags down, run upstairs, rush to save the floor from drowning in toilet water and THEN your youngest child screams from downstairs “MOM!!! HURRY!!!! Water is coming from the ceiling!!!! IN THE KITCHEN (which is directly below the bathroom toilet that just overflowed)!!! So you rush to clean up both INFURIATING messes. Problem solved? NO! Then you have to wash the dishes that were left for you so lovingly in order to cook dinner successfully. Dishes done. Now cook dinner WOMAN! The kids are barking and the old man is snoring on the damn couch!!! Think you’re done yet? NO!

Now, homework, baths and off to bed for the kiddies! So…would you like to know where the said houseguest is during all of this? Sitting. Watching MY TV! Unaware that chaos is taking place in the house! (Insert scream here)

This may be something I live through daily but when you have a houseguest you think HEY! Maybe I’ll finally get some help around here? NOOOOOOO! You wont. All you get is a mess you didn’t make, an extra dinner plate to wash, plenty of tissues to throw away, cold shower water sprayed on your face because SOMEONE left it in full shower mode and then, finally, you get to sit in toilet water because again SOMEONE forgot to put the seat down. Naturally.

Hats of to Tim Burton and his wife for having separate places!

Houseguests are not for me.

enter.resting.

gay and marriage, go together like a horse and carriage....

i attended a wedding tonight and of course i have to add that it was a gay wedding. i hate to separate like that but you do sometimes. which is why i am writing now. i have had many conversations lately when it comes to the issue of being "gay" and why anyone cares what others choose to do with their lives... its not your life and its not something you're deciding - so then why do we as a society care what others choose? why do we even have an option as a political candidate to publicly express what side we agree with? same goes for religion. sex preference and religion should not be relavent in regards to determining a war or say...education, general law making or health care plans for an entire population...am i crazy?

anyways, it was beautiful. it was one of the most genuine weddings i have experienced in a LONG time. what i've noticed is gay people tend to get married more for the love of one another, and "straight" people get married for more wrong reasons than right. thats whats so funny (and people say "they" should not be able to get married). to me, straight as i am, i think most people get married for the "status" they assume within society once that silly little piece of metal is placed onto the "ring" finger. i think we should change the ring finger into the middle finger because thats what most peoples marriages end up like...

im ranting but in my opinion, it seems to be true for most of the "marriages" i have witnessed in front of my eyes. no one seems happy. everyone is settling. kids are being born, then ignored because the parents are too wrapped up in their own drama. hearts are torn and nothing is as genuine as it seems it should be. but for one moment, when i glanced around the crowd tonight, i saw people that were there with nothing negative to say, no whisper talking about what the groom had done in the past, no talk about how "when i get married, he better come correct," or whatever ridiculous thing i have heard some married people say about what they will be "expecting" from their mate once the finger is placed with a ring! all i saw was passion, love and true commitment. thank you to my friends who tied the knot, honestly and genuinely. i salute your love and devotion and wish you nothing but the best!

it also rained... all i could think was...dang! i wish a rainbow would appear! that would have been extra awesome!

disclaimer: dont take everything i say so seriously. im emotional too. i sometimes stand to be corrected (so feel free to say whatever you want in my comments, thanks for reading either way). and im not obviously saying that all marriages are wrong, calm down.