Everything...means something.

His name is Hillbilly. He laughs...pauses...and laughs again while he points to his belt buckle...

"I got this when I was 21 and a half. Got this when I got my first bike. This vest I'm wearing also has some cool shit." He takes it off and buttons it back up and lays it on his lap. The story begins about a lifestyle I never knew anything about. Biker.

Hillbilly starts explaining first the patches - describing each experience of each ride that each patch represented. I never knew that. Each patch is from one of the rides, the history, the family he's gained along the way. The buttons are called "Days/Daze"(?) - they're given to you by someone - some meaning that they might have wanted you to remember. The pins - most of them silver are from shows - Sturgis and such...that is in fact where he acquired his vest...stolen from the 50th Annual event. Some store clerk was a jerk to him - so he turned around and left, with the vest on! He turned the vest to the back and said - "You wanna know what you do...?" Sure... "You sow this patch here on the back or wherever really and leave the top unsewn - get some cellophane because back in my day we didn't have these little baggies - put hundred doller bills in them - light the top and seal it and throw it in the patch and sew it up!" GTFOOH!!!! (Getthefuckoutofhere)

What a logical thing to do. Ha. He continues on with Biker stories that are only seen in the movies. Rides about guys from England and patches that clearly stirred up some deep emotional memories. He didn't talk about them more than the simple mention while describing the ones's that made him whale out with laughter. "GOD BLESS THAT LORI!" - "She was a wicked lady!" This...is my house sittings neighbor. They really do call him Hillbilly and he fits every description you might imagine for the "Hillbilly Biker"... He came over tonight to check on me - play with the dogs and told me stories about a life I knew little about. That was a real cool time. It made me think about what happen to us doing things to actually remember moments? Collecting pictures has even lost its importance in our world today. My mother always complains how no one ever sends her actual photos.

This was also a reassurance for me... When I went camping I did something I thought was totally dorky but necessary for the event. I made "Camp Bracelets" - it was cool. I thought it was going to be small but everyone was ECSTATIC!!! They loved them and now we can all walk around town with this badge of honor - for we were the first of many CUTTHROAT BAY CAMPERS.

End note: DO something to remember EACH moment. You're not a pack rat - just collecting memories to HELP you remember when you are old - or perhaps to drunk to remember, ha. enter.resting. #CUTTHROATBAY For LIFE!!! #BIKERS

The News...inspired by Mayer Hawthorne.

So how many times do you need to see someone before you finally see your exit? How many times do you need to test the feeling you are having inside? When have you finally had a enough?

Well...I think me and many of my friends answer is...you just can't put a time limit on said decisions. It happens naturally. I can say today that it has "happened". I had to Blow someone One Last Kiss(thank you Pink for always making the right song always when it is needed). There's a bit of heartache but only because it's someone you once knew a certain way and now - it's not enough. After this experience I can finally say goodbye to the old me. It was sort of a release of all one's past loves that had no potential of fitting within your life's requirements. That is...my friends what we ultimately look for when we are out there scouting for our life lovers. After you have grown up and have experienced enough shit in your life to finally see the real you. AND who exactly is going to allow you to be yourself and live the way you intend while remaining happy.

Once we have screamed through our chest for the final time - THIS IS WHO I AM AND I LOVE IT!!!! We begin to create the new Us - maybe this starts to occur most around 30? I don't wanna put a specific on that because I am not aware of actual research and some are late...late...bloomers. Anyways, dating becomes new - or the relationship in which you are already living in starts to bloom into this new - grown you's. It becomes easier to make instant decisions about someone or something - that's if you stay true to yourself(it's hard and we are challenged daily). I remember a year ago - I was on a date with someone and I suddenly felt "It" - THIS was not gonna work. I spoke instantly and said you know what? I think I'm gonna go home. I wish you the best. ...and WOW!!! This feeling rushing over me was intense! I was honest, real, and true to myself and it FELT AMAZING!!! Now I didn't say that there wasn't gonna be some lonely nights because that would be a lie. BUT, the feeling of being perfectly content with who you are starts to become your new best friend and the fear of not having someone(as in, just ANYONE, to do just deal with) slowly slips away. With this - the new you starts to shine and finding the great one(cause there is no right) is like Mario Brothers Nintendo - collecting mushrooms and jumping blocks makes tapping the ? marks all the more fun!!! Anyway...back to the real point of this - letting go of something I knew I should was a great feeling. It was the last of the ? marks in my old life and WHEW do I feel great!

Let him/her go.

You will feel better. The Great One will arise!!! And most of all...Love Yourself. THAT is the true answer to any question.

beSelfish. enter.resting.

EFF the BUDDY - it's time for a friend...

No matter what you're doing...studying, working, making a career for yourself, running, hanging with friends or whatever other productive THING you might do - the thought of a man is ALWAYS in the back of your mind. Today - I was driving and thought - Fellas, the game has changed for you. This isn't something new to talk about but it's my turn now darn it. In these times - the present day...women have obviously become more independent in their needs but just how far will it go? How much more will we take on and/or start doing for ourselves?? I see a lot of Facebook postings about sayings that men think toward women and most always I

them. Not because it seems obvious that a male would think such an opinion but rather because I think they are just as appropriate for what me and my lady friends are thinking. Such as this one from yesterday....

First off - come over? Nowadays...I don't even want you in MY house. And in reverse I don't wanna drive to your house JUST to have sex. I mean, sometimes that's alright but more and more I am becoming too lazy for even that. Or it turns into the idea of why would I wanna drive ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL the way over to your house just to get our boogie on and then leave WHEN I could instead - hang out with my girl friends, go to dinner, or a movie, chill and then MAYBE just maybe I'll wanna end my night at your place BUT most likely what happens now is I'd rather go home with me, myself and I. That's not a stuck up approach it's more of a ME approach. What do I want? Because doing what I want is more pleasing. Duh.

I believe women today act more like men (according to stereo types) - or are we finally understanding what you fellas have been up to all these years? Really it's just being selfish with our time and who you choose to spend it with - "saving the drama for your mama" - perhaps? But more so it simply isn't enough for me/us anymore and I don't need you like that. Driving all the way over to a man's house who isn't your boyfriend - spending about an hour or so with him and then you're gone?!

Hmmmmm, that scenario is starting to seem wasteful and boring in regards to my time. Maybe that's just me and my girls growing up?? Tell me. Because I think I'll choose the guy who actually wants to have a conversation outside of the bed and then maybe even go outside and play for a while - do something active!!! That seems more fun to me. And, it is becoming easier and easier with each day to turn men away. Some men think just because they have a good time in bed to offer that THAT should be enough for you to wanna come over and play? NAWWWWWW - I'll take the other options for $500 Alec!!!!

NOW, let me clarify some things about this whole topic I'm wasting time talking about at this coffee shop before I go to work...I am not expecting anyone to say the obvious like - well you know if you want a man to love you then you shouldn't just go over and give him booty anyway or well, duh...obviously it's more fun to hang out with a guy and go on dates and then maybe go further with him. I know all this and if I was pursuing a boyfriend right now I would take a more proper approach at dating and do such. This is about grown folks business. Simply saying that the traditional EffBuddies is outdated - I'll take an EffBuddy that wants to go to the park - kick a ball and then go home and play. But wasting my time anymore with someone who doesn't even wanna be your friend at the least? No thanks.

Now men...don't get all butt hurt - but seriously it's time for you to step your game up (I'm not excusing women either in the stepping your game up, I'll blog about that later...) OR you'll be the one at home crying - not us anymore. I mean, show a little bit of human...hang with us or get left by us. That's just how we roll now... enter.resting.

...am I TICKING you off???

Just a quick blog about Facebook and the ticker, ya know? Have you ever said to someone - WHY is THAT one person ALWAYS online?? They post so much - it's like...all day, I mean, she looks like one of those one girls - from the rap videos...DESPERATE!!! LMAO!!!

Well you get the picture. I always think in my head...

1. Why the hell does it matter if THAT person is on Facebook all the time?
2. Why do YOU care?
3. Isn't that the point to Facebook? (To be socially ON??)

Confused. Well - I don't care how long you stay on or how many posts you choose to post! I mean - in all seriousness - if you have befriended someone then technically you should be happy to see their posts...Yes?

Anyway - just a moment to reflect on random examples that may identify that you are too involved in others lives. That or that perhaps you should de-friend them if it rattles you. And lastly, maybe you're jealous??

I LIKE LOTS OF TICKS AND I CAN NOT LIE!!!! You other FACERS can't deny!!!!!

enter.resting.

In An Instant...

blink... blink... blink...till there is no more...

In an instant you can loose someone you love. Someone you may never have thought about that often or someone we may never know exists. But their still gone. In an instant. I heard of a boy missing who is only 14 years old. The reason i would like to talk about this besides the obvious...someone's son is missing.... is because it reminded me of the big "things" we ignore in life and the small "things" we think are more important. I say this because I saw a status update around 10pm last night, read it, clicked open the link, looked at the picture of the missing boy...and then walked up to my bedroom, not reposting the missing boy post as the individual had requested, instead i went to bed, thinking about how the parents must feel. A few days ago their child walked out of their home and hasn't returned. We all hear stories about this on the news but we blink, blink, blink and then turn the channel to a less important show but one that entertains us. I came home from work today and felt the need to immediately check Facebook to see if anyone had found the boy. Nothing. I reposted the post. I could not sit any longer thinking about what i would want some of you to do for me if my kid was lost...I would ask any and everybody for help! I would post signs on my block, on your block and all across the whole Denver/EVERYWHERE area!!!! I WOULD POST ON FACEBOOK AND EXPECT---again, EXPECT all my Facebook friends to repost and repost and repost and repost and repost and repost and repost and repost and repost and R E P O S T... UNTIL Someone heard something, from somewhere!!! I did not see as many individuals as I would EXPECT to SEE REPOST/SHARE the MISSING BOY POST to help this family. I MEAN...come on? I saw more likes and status updates about TV shows and favorite songs than I did about SOME"THING" AS IMPORTANT AS ONE OF "OUR" meaning YOU/US/ALL having a child lost out on the streets. I MEAN...EVERY moment counts, every second, every breath, every click that it might take to get any kind of information (about some"thing" that could ultimately result in death) PASSED AROUND, SHARED, "SCREAMING OUT" to the world - HELP COMMUNITY - HELP HUMANS OF THIS EARTH - help me, help me, help me! Am I making any sense? Ranting? Probably? But really. It is scary to think that if my child was lost out in this city... We, You, Them and They MIGHT not TAKE the TIME to REPOST/SHARE a MISSING GIRL POST!!! Wake up people. Please. It could be your kid, mother, brother, son, daughter or BEST FRIEND.

Later today I was chatting a friend on Facebook. He told me his best friend had lost his brother last week. It was a hit and run motorcycle accident. Tragic and obviously sad. He was a father to two beautiful children, someone I never knew and will never know but here I am telling the world about him. Just a reminder that life can be taken away in an instant. Every moment, every second, every breath you take, could be a breath that could save a life. Maybe even a 14 year old boy's life. Maybe you could have seen the driver in that instant that it counted. I'm simply reminding myself and encouraging you all out there to take the moment that may count and get involved outside of yourself. The tables may be turned someday...and in an instant... life can be taken away. Blink... blink... blink... till there is no more.

enter. resting.

disclaimer: i realize the sensitivity of the above subject and apologize in advance if i have offended anyone but i do believe in how i feel. my heart goes out to both families.

the loneliness that consumes us...

i was at my grandmas yesterday, who returned home from a months stay in and out of the ER and Rehab. she has lived on her own for the last few years since my grandpa died, and has always been at peace about it...but not today. my mothers sister has been staying with her for the last few days but must now return home and in one week she will have the company of her other daughter. yesterday was her first night alone in over a month. you could see the sadness pouring from my grandmas eyes, an almost anxious feeling - hesitating to tell the truth of her sorrow.

jumping straight to the point, what is it about us that makes us fight back the urge to scream "I'M LONELY!!!"

how many of you sit in your house alone, thinking about your loneliness? hiding it by keeping yourself busy with house chores, work, or playing on the internet...i recently had a conversation with a good friend of mine and we had the best laugh as we admitted each of our facebook adventures or rather -obsession? addiction? we practically finished each others sentences with things like, "yes, i refresh the page like every four minutes!" and "flipping back and forth from my page to the status home page! just to see if maybe, just maybe something changed!" laughing - laughing - laughing! we continued on with more embarrassing facts about the extreme measures we take just to reach out to someone, anyone!! HELP!!! I'M LONELY!!!!

i know you are reading this thinking i am crazy right? admit it. I did. I know you are in your pj’s cracked out on facebook, don’t lie! We can’t all be so different when it comes to the basic needs of being human. we are, after all, ALL human.

let's also keep in mind that just because i, we, you, her and him are on facebook constantly, seeking any type of midnight human interaction, does not mean that we are not living our lives. everyone works, we all are working on our dreams, and we all have a ridiculous amount of obligations! But, lets take a moment to shout it out, seek out and take the extra step to reach out to someone who really may be more lonely than you and say HELLO! How many studies have proven that just being friendly in general could save someone's life?

call your grandma, mom, dad, friend, sister, acquaintance, lover, anyone and have a conversation. or even an email nowadays!

enter.resting.