Thursday, November 11, 2010


WHO left all these dishes in the sink while I was at work?

WHO is pulling all the damn covers!

WHO left all this junk by the computer - used tissues, empty cups, papers not addressed to me!

WHO left the nozzle in the shower at a level that is obviously meant for someone who may stand at 6’4?



A houseguest moved in to my home for a month and it immediately brought back all the reasons why I live alone. I started thinking about every previous roommate, boyfriend, relative, etc. that has stayed with me at some point in my life and found myself locked in the bathroom, with headphones, cigarettes and my trusty cell phone, in case I needed to call for help while I was hiding in my own house!

I’m going to continue my story with the MAN intruder rant…

It really doesn’t matter if you are male or female, although guys are generally the ones who like to say they cant stand living with someone - I beg to differ. When a woman decides to take in a houseguest of the male persuasion, we are immediately placed into an ideal role of what the heck we should be doing and/or deal with while this “HOUSEGUEST” is Intruding on our personal space.

You leave for work…no, no, let’s start at the VERY beginning…You wake up. Suddenly someone is expecting you to feed them, make them coffee, and still take care of the kids, get ready for work and then make sense of how you allowed yourself to get trumped. Then, you leave for work, continue with all the crap you gotta deal with at work - then head over to 3 hours of class, which entails you listening to some boring lecture about something you wont remember after the quiz.

After that you’re driving home, to what you think is the house you left earlier that morning and then WHAM! You walk in the door and EVERYTHING IS NOT HOW YOU LEFT IT!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! That was me - screaming, thinking about the past. Dishes are every where, tissues all over, toilet seat up - and don’t forget you’re walking into the house with a hand full of groceries when suddenly your oldest child comes down screaming “MOM!!! THE TOILET IT OVERFLOWING!!! HURRY!!!” - you slam the bags down, run upstairs, rush to save the floor from drowning in toilet water and THEN your youngest child screams from downstairs “MOM!!! HURRY!!!! Water is coming from the ceiling!!!! IN THE KITCHEN (which is directly below the bathroom toilet that just overflowed)!!! So you rush to clean up both INFURIATING messes. Problem solved? NO! Then you have to wash the dishes that were left for you so lovingly in order to cook dinner successfully. Dishes done. Now cook dinner WOMAN! The kids are barking and the old man is snoring on the damn couch!!! Think you’re done yet? NO!

Now, homework, baths and off to bed for the kiddies! So…would you like to know where the said houseguest is during all of this? Sitting. Watching MY TV! Unaware that chaos is taking place in the house! (Insert scream here)

This may be something I live through daily but when you have a houseguest you think HEY! Maybe I’ll finally get some help around here? NOOOOOOO! You wont. All you get is a mess you didn’t make, an extra dinner plate to wash, plenty of tissues to throw away, cold shower water sprayed on your face because SOMEONE left it in full shower mode and then, finally, you get to sit in toilet water because again SOMEONE forgot to put the seat down. Naturally.

Hats of to Tim Burton and his wife for having separate places!

Houseguests are not for me.


Is it forever...

If a friend or yourself has/is living through a personal transformation, which may or may not change life forever, there is still the drowning question of whether or not this change will define you or help you to grow right?

We don’t need a specific instance to help explain the way you feel when the moment arises…you’re alone and wondering how you are going to tell someone something, or rather, not tell someone something. Or maybe you’re just struggling with yourself and how you’re going to tell your mind that your heart’s decision messed up this time - or vice versa.

The results came back: It’s announced that YOU are the new guest on the list with the - Possibly Defining Intruder to your body.

The results came back: You’re pregnant…now what? Which pill will you swallow?

The results came back: It appears that this job will not work for you…how will you pay your bills? Who will hire you next? What will you learn from this loss and what will you seek from your new employer?

The results came back: It appears that you just can’t seem to stay out of trouble…

Nonetheless, it’s scary.

What would you give for the answer to your problem? Would you pay a psychiatrist?

So where’s this going? Confused yet? The point of this rant is to say there is no answer that can change what you’re feeling during the time of transition.

Figuring out the answer is the first part of the problem but it will never take away the dark moments we encounter alone - when you’re all alone…and no one can help you. Even if someone offered to help it certainly wouldn’t do much. (Most times.)

I want to know…how do YOU feel when you’re alone in this moment? How do YOU deal with it? How do YOU deal with it without losing your mind? What do you do the day after? I’m tired of hearing things like “Rise to the occasion!” And don’t feel bad if that’s something you say often…who cares anymore if we will rise to the occasion…we all understand how to, and some of us can even “Rise to the occasion” quite often, but that still doesn’t expose the darker side to any of it…the real human emotion behind living with our decisions/actions/realities…no one else can feel them.

So riddle me this…Is it forever? Are these feelings forever suppressed? Will the dark emotions that drag me down when I’m alone at night, confronting my decisions last forever? Even after I have made the transition and am now living with it in the present? Will it continue to haunt me? And if not, again I ask - genuinely, how do you deal with it without losing your mind?

Thanks for reading. If it made sense ;)

Ain’t Noooooo Sunshine In Thiiissss Blooogggg….