Monday, April 30, 2012

Today is Honesty Day....April 30, 2012

Uh oh...
Time to be honest!!! I swear to tell the whole truth and NOTHING but the truth!!! If you have something you wanna know about me - or seek an HONEST opinion on, I will gladly answer all your only!! No lying!!! Email me -

Saturday, April 28, 2012

What a man, what a man, what a man - WHAT A MIGHTY GOOD MAN!!!

Secret Lovers.
...oh dear Secret Lover - if I could tell you all the lovely words I wished for us I would finally sleep soundly at night. If only you wouldn't dismiss my feelings perhaps we could have a real chance, right? Who knows really. That's the beauty and downfall of having a Secret Lover. You never will know if you were meant to be together because in the eyes of your(s) secret together - the idea of that seems unattainable. Loving each other the way you do in secret... The realness of this situation is that even though I may have one particular lover that I feel this way about - it does not however dismiss the idea of finding someone else. It also does not stop me from dating other men and/or having perhaps other Secret Lovers. I am defining Secret Lovers in many ways- 1. Someone you do not share with the rest of the world, maybe just your close circle of friends and family who all know mums the word when they see said person. 2. Someone you may be in love with secretly - who may have no idea. 3. Someone who you want BUT may be with someone else or vice versa - which then I might ask - why are you staying together with someone you are not fully loving. (That's a discussion for another day.) The best part about THIS is that no matter who you are - you will not know who I am referring to unless you are in fact the Secret Lover and can pull out from the information that it is in fact YOU or if you are within my close circle of friends and know that I have obsessively talked about said person. Secrets - fun aren't they? This is for all of us - out there - secretly yearning for someone. Very human of us I'd say. You are not alone my fellow lovers and I am here for you. This will also help my mind clear a bit and it is my blog - if you're reading this it's because you love me right? And like to hear what I say??
MY SECRET LOVER - He is tall - BEAUTIFUL and one fo the smartest men I know. I love being with him and enjoy every second like it's our last. I do this because I often get the feeling that one day I'll get the call that THIS has to end. Probably because he found someone more suiting. I found him a few years ago (seriously it was like every movie you see when that HOT GUY walks into some place and music plays in your head - LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!!). I pursued him, thinking NAW - there is no way he's gonna talk to me. I'd say this was initially around the time when I still believed that no man wants to date or deal with someone with kids. Now, I know that's just bullshit and rather if a man turns me away because of MY kids then he is crazy (I mean - maybe I don't want YOU around my kids, Yo). Anyway, back to the Secret was like MAGIC when we finally connected. I had never found someone so amazing. Someone that wasn't annoying, knew a thing or two about life, wasn't a psycho and had a good head on his shoulders. I still feel the same way about him now - in fact - I think more of him each time I see him. He reminds me of a good ole country boy - who would be able to save the world if it ended - fighting off lions with his bare hands - I'd almost even say he is "The Most Interesting Man in the World!!"
So you might ask - why are you guys Secret Lovers?? Well, there are many factors around us that prevent this shouting out to the world - some of them because of our community surroundings and some I'd say just because he enjoys his singleness. What kills me? Why won't he give me a real chance? (I know the obvious, thank you.) If he REALLY feels the way he says he does about me? If you love someone you would think that it wouldn't matter what other people thought and you wouldn't risk losing that person - you'd grab her by the hand and lock her up safe, right? I don't know. So the only thing left to think is that HE really is - just not that into me...that hurts. But, for what we do have I enjoy - it does keep my life simple and drama free but then again there are the times when you are alone with your friends who do have public boyfriends and they always ask - WHERE your guy is? And why won't he hang out? It also makes it hard to date because you are constantly comparing them to the other person. Which we all know is a NO NO!!! (End note: I LOVE this man. I would have his babies. And yes - I am crazy and know that I am being the typical dreamy girl who has high hopes! What would love and life be if we didn't???!!!!) On to the next - there are two other guys that I have secret love crushes on. Both have girlfriends - one recently broke up with his girlfriend (which we all know how that can go - don't waste your heart on that bullshit)and the other...well - I'd say he is stuck in the life of just making it work with her. I know how that goes and guys I'm telling you - !!!!! - I did that for 12 years and it leads no where - just broken angry hearts that are never really happy. And now what I live by is WHY live with someone who YOU are unhappy with? For the sake of opinions? Are you scared that you may end up alone? And what's wrong with that if that is the case. Sometimes people stay together for kids - which again makes no sense. You end up having kids who don't understand what real relationships are like because all they ever saw was a mommy and daddy who just DEALT with each other for the SAKE of YOU. And that's no life to live. Kids wanna see their parents happy - that's what's MOST important. Kids also pick up on energy and unloving parents shows. BELIEVE ME. THEY SEE THAT SHIT...(End note: Ladies - ya'll be trippin' - so don't be ASSUMING I am a home wrecker because I'm not and also - don't think just cause YOU have a man or are dating a guy that someone else is crushing on that we are wrong. It is normal for other women/men to want YOUR man - that's life. Deal with it ladies and grow up already. You do it too.) So these guys ^^ - the ones I am secretly in love with...I'm pretty sure I'll never have anything with these guys but the world works in mysterious ways so you never know. The last Secret Lover I have (or is it?) is someone who lives in another state. THIS guy is LIKE MY DREAM ON PAPER - or internet I should say because we have only had an internet relationship. It's been years and it was actually a cool little story that made it what it is now. WE met on (shut was a time where I was bored and lonely and the internet sites where just beginning). He was cool - we chatted a few times but we both agreed that the site was pointless and led nowhere. (Side note: I met a football player from this site, what a retard he was, which is why I canceled my membership) Then he found me on Myspace - which also became a waste of time and then WHAM he found me on Facebook - that was years ago now. When we finally connected on Facebook - the real friendship began. Someday I will see him - he has asked many times just WHEN I plan on letting him come out to Denver and hang...soon my friend. Soon. I am at a loss of words now. I'll have to come back to this topic again because we all know THIS is a topic we could spend years discussing. So for now - I have told you about my Secret Lover(s) - and now I feel a little better. I have to think more about to some other girls and guys and get back to you all...let you know what they're thinking. Leave a comment if you have a similar situation. Send an email if you wanna talk about yours or mine - doesn't matter to me!!! ( enter.resting.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

A Moment of Mind Talk in the Kitchen...

Just a quick thought here as I'm pouring some ice tea and warming up some left over Chinese food. I'm evaluating everything I quickly threw together in a basket earlier at the store and considered it as "shopping" then, you ever wonder WHAT THE HELL DID I BUY FROM THE STORE??? Exactly. My thoughts right now - next to the refrigerator. I mean, I bought the essential items that are able to provide my body with nutrition all while enjoying every item so not to waste... Anyway, this lead to the real discussion here - You ever wonder what happen to some of the food choice items you used to keep on the "Staples" list?? (Staples list for those who don't know is what them old folks call "The Essentials") It's like our diets change every few months. Then one night you look in the fridge for something to chew and THEN WHAM!!! It hits you like a ton of elephants!! I FORGOT ABOUT THAT!!!! You forgot that for months you were consistently buying tomatoes, basil, bread, mozzarella, and olive oil. In fact, you survived on this particular concoction and must have simply gotten tired of it? Which then is the reason we might forget some of the old foods we used to stock. So now that I've processed this thought - I guess I answered my own question about Where - THAT - went. We simply got sick of eating the same thing - mentioned this to ourselves at the store and then decided upon something new and brave to try that we are currently eating - that is, until we get sick of THAT. Weirdo. enter.resting.

Friday, April 20, 2012

HAPPETARY Achievement and Strangers!!!!

I went to a local eatery today. First time there with my mother. Our waitress was this hot, thick, young lookin' thang and she was on point with the good energy! By the middle of our breakfast I decided to do something some of us only talk about most times. And that is...what the heck does that girl/guy do?? Gameversation(a conversation game of guessing what other humans do in which you encounter.) She was happy, loving life and feeding me her energy for breakfast!!! Most people I go out in public with at some point say something like, "I wonder what that girl/guy does?" "How in the heck does this chick manage to survive while working at this local coffee shop??" There's gotta be something more to her happiness than just this coffee shop, right? Right! If any of that made sense above - what I'm trying to say is - the stories that we dream up in our heads about people we may not know personally or perhaps who you think you might know already - is sometimes amusing. Our minds have the capabilities to create such extravagant fantasies and to think of what one human to the next does on a daily basis, is one of my most treasured "Coffee Talk" things to do... It starts with something like...Hmmmm...look at that couple over there at the corner table. Jenny...what do you think their story is? Why are they free to go to breakfast at 10:30am on a Monday? What job could they possibly have that allows such? Then, you may glance at the fashion style choice in whatever establishment you're cute. How does that girl over there at the counter afford that purse?? What the heck is she doing right?? You may see this as a hatin' conversation but really it's just my curiosity to what others do within their daily lives and how they manage to survive and thrive all at the same time. And also, why are we/us afraid to talk to strangers? Or start a conversation with someone new? It might turn into a wonderful new friendship or connection!! You never know! Blah Blah Blah!! So I asked all the things I was pondering over. I talked to a stranger ya'll! Had the best chat with who we shall call - DIVA! She was awesome. She works at this hipster-funky cafe 4 days a week and does artsy shit with her friends the rest of the time! I loved it! She was 41 but didn't look a day over 30! She sat and we all chatted about life, growing up, living a simple life where happiness really does depend on quality of life and NOT monetary status but rather HAPPETARY ACHIEVEMENT!!! HOORAH!!! (Which I will add that obviously quality of life has a bit to do with monetary status but I refer to this much deeper, you dig me?) It was one of those - Life's gonna be okay moments. Ya know? We connected. She appreciated the conversation and we both walked away high! So I conclude...that you too start talking to more strangers! Get to know the people you exchange energy with on a daily basis or even just for that one moment! You may never see them again. But...if you do! Bonus! I think I'm just a big dork and a sucker for human connection. enter.resting.

Monday, April 9, 2012 I TICKING you off???

Just a quick blog about Facebook and the ticker, ya know? Have you ever said to someone - WHY is THAT one person ALWAYS online?? They post so much - it's like...all day, I mean, she looks like one of those one girls - from the rap videos...DESPERATE!!! LMAO!!!

Well you get the picture. I always think in my head...

1. Why the hell does it matter if THAT person is on Facebook all the time?
2. Why do YOU care?
3. Isn't that the point to Facebook? (To be socially ON??)

Confused. Well - I don't care how long you stay on or how many posts you choose to post! I mean - in all seriousness - if you have befriended someone then technically you should be happy to see their posts...Yes?

Anyway - just a moment to reflect on random examples that may identify that you are too involved in others lives. That or that perhaps you should de-friend them if it rattles you. And lastly, maybe you're jealous??

I LIKE LOTS OF TICKS AND I CAN NOT LIE!!!! You other FACERS can't deny!!!!!