Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Once there was a girl and a boy. the little girl slept by the window. in her room. one night the little Boy heard his sister screaming help and he went into her room and there was a Black creature biting her and she said call the police before it comes Again and the creature Said don't call the police before it comes Again and the creature said don't call the police or I will hurt you too and you don't want that and the boy went back to bed and heard her sister and their mom Screaming and he looked in their rooms and they weren't there. he wondered all the days if he would get bit and that night when he was in bed he saw the creature and screamed to see if his sister would hear but he forgot his sister and mom died but it was to late he was bit over and over and he died and when he died and old lady lived there and when she saw the creature she called the police and they said they would be right over but the creature said you did not want to do that because you will get really hurt and you will regret it so when she was bit they arived and saw her screamin and when they turned around and back around they saw her dead body on the groud and the monster disappeared and the Police Never went to save anyone cause they were scared and every one always got bit. But one day another person Moved in and every one who didn't die they warned her over and over and over she said there's nothing to worry About But that night she yelled out her window and said I Believe you but every one was asleep so she was bit and died. The End Ummm...from the thoughts of my 2nd grader...a little dark I'd say? Well - Kudos for mostly spelling everything right! HA!

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Everything...means something.

His name is Hillbilly. He laughs...pauses...and laughs again while he points to his belt buckle...
"I got this when I was 21 and a half. Got this when I got my first bike. This vest I'm wearing also has some cool shit." He takes it off and buttons it back up and lays it on his lap. The story begins about a lifestyle I never knew anything about. Biker.
Hillbilly starts explaining first the patches - describing each experience of each ride that each patch represented. I never knew that. Each patch is from one of the rides, the history, the family he's gained along the way. The buttons are called "Days/Daze"(?) - they're given to you by someone - some meaning that they might have wanted you to remember. The pins - most of them silver are from shows - Sturgis and such...that is in fact where he acquired his vest...stolen from the 50th Annual event. Some store clerk was a jerk to him - so he turned around and left, with the vest on! He turned the vest to the back and said - "You wanna know what you do...?" Sure... "You sow this patch here on the back or wherever really and leave the top unsewn - get some cellophane because back in my day we didn't have these little baggies - put hundred doller bills in them - light the top and seal it and throw it in the patch and sew it up!" GTFOOH!!!! (Getthefuckoutofhere)
What a logical thing to do. Ha. He continues on with Biker stories that are only seen in the movies. Rides about guys from England and patches that clearly stirred up some deep emotional memories. He didn't talk about them more than the simple mention while describing the ones's that made him whale out with laughter. "GOD BLESS THAT LORI!" - "She was a wicked lady!" my house sittings neighbor. They really do call him Hillbilly and he fits every description you might imagine for the "Hillbilly Biker"... He came over tonight to check on me - play with the dogs and told me stories about a life I knew little about. That was a real cool time. It made me think about what happen to us doing things to actually remember moments? Collecting pictures has even lost its importance in our world today. My mother always complains how no one ever sends her actual photos.
This was also a reassurance for me... When I went camping I did something I thought was totally dorky but necessary for the event. I made "Camp Bracelets" - it was cool. I thought it was going to be small but everyone was ECSTATIC!!! They loved them and now we can all walk around town with this badge of honor - for we were the first of many CUTTHROAT BAY CAMPERS.
End note: DO something to remember EACH moment. You're not a pack rat - just collecting memories to HELP you remember when you are old - or perhaps to drunk to remember, ha. enter.resting. #CUTTHROATBAY For LIFE!!! #BIKERS

Sunday, September 16, 2012

4th Day of House sitting...

Many of you know that I have started a month long journey of house sitting. The people I am sitting for also have two small dogs, hence the house sitting. My kids are here too - obviously. My normal life consists of living with my mother(moved in last year) and my younger brother who has friends in/out of our house all day! The point here is that I thought that this would be a nice time for me to see how it feels to live alone again. Don't you dare say this in front of the kids though because they say with sad faces - but you're not alone mommy. We are here too. It's different. Can't explain that to them - this alone feeling. Well...I have decided after day 4 that I don't like living alone. Although the kids are around and we have tons of space to do whatever we want - there is this adult presence that is missing - and I miss that - from living with my mother/brother. Around 7pm is when you realize you're alone again. The house is quiet. Dinner is done and the kids are ready to prepare for their decent to sleep land. And then, there you are. Alone. I'm not saying I am missing the presence of a man or my mother but something is...not here. I'm sure - in fact, I know I can do this. Living alone. But what I wanna be clear about now is that - I just don't like it. I like having chaos around. I like to hear the streets with people making noise over near Colfax and my brother and his music - djing alllllllllll day and night.
Friends coming and going. The kids running in and out of the house and my mother yelling at them to STOP SLAMMING THE DOOR!!!! I even miss my mom yelling at me about cleaning up our shit!
I like family and I like when they live together. I even have a good friend as my neighbor - and that makes my home feel even bigger. Friends and family right at my hands reach. Let's be clear here though - I am not referring to not liking independency. That I can do - I know this. But, I have decided I don't want too. what? Time to make Sunday morning breakfast for the kids and I and it doesn't feel the same. Cooking for three only. Cheers to family and friends being close. Some don't have that opportunity. I am grateful.

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

The News...inspired by Mayer Hawthorne.

So how many times do you need to see someone before you finally see your exit? How many times do you need to test the feeling you are having inside? When have you finally had a enough?
Well...I think me and many of my friends answer just can't put a time limit on said decisions. It happens naturally. I can say today that it has "happened". I had to Blow someone One Last Kiss(thank you Pink for always making the right song always when it is needed). There's a bit of heartache but only because it's someone you once knew a certain way and now - it's not enough. After this experience I can finally say goodbye to the old me. It was sort of a release of all one's past loves that had no potential of fitting within your life's requirements. That friends what we ultimately look for when we are out there scouting for our life lovers. After you have grown up and have experienced enough shit in your life to finally see the real you. AND who exactly is going to allow you to be yourself and live the way you intend while remaining happy.
Once we have screamed through our chest for the final time - THIS IS WHO I AM AND I LOVE IT!!!! We begin to create the new Us - maybe this starts to occur most around 30? I don't wanna put a specific on that because I am not aware of actual research and some are late...late...bloomers. Anyways, dating becomes new - or the relationship in which you are already living in starts to bloom into this new - grown you's. It becomes easier to make instant decisions about someone or something - that's if you stay true to yourself(it's hard and we are challenged daily). I remember a year ago - I was on a date with someone and I suddenly felt "It" - THIS was not gonna work. I spoke instantly and said you know what? I think I'm gonna go home. I wish you the best. ...and WOW!!! This feeling rushing over me was intense! I was honest, real, and true to myself and it FELT AMAZING!!! Now I didn't say that there wasn't gonna be some lonely nights because that would be a lie. BUT, the feeling of being perfectly content with who you are starts to become your new best friend and the fear of not having someone(as in, just ANYONE, to do just deal with) slowly slips away. With this - the new you starts to shine and finding the great one(cause there is no right) is like Mario Brothers Nintendo - collecting mushrooms and jumping blocks makes tapping the ? marks all the more fun!!! Anyway...back to the real point of this - letting go of something I knew I should was a great feeling. It was the last of the ? marks in my old life and WHEW do I feel great!
Let him/her go.
You will feel better. The Great One will arise!!! And most of all...Love Yourself. THAT is the true answer to any question.
beSelfish. enter.resting.