The News...inspired by Mayer Hawthorne.

So how many times do you need to see someone before you finally see your exit? How many times do you need to test the feeling you are having inside? When have you finally had a enough?

Well...I think me and many of my friends answer is...you just can't put a time limit on said decisions. It happens naturally. I can say today that it has "happened". I had to Blow someone One Last Kiss(thank you Pink for always making the right song always when it is needed). There's a bit of heartache but only because it's someone you once knew a certain way and now - it's not enough. After this experience I can finally say goodbye to the old me. It was sort of a release of all one's past loves that had no potential of fitting within your life's requirements. That is...my friends what we ultimately look for when we are out there scouting for our life lovers. After you have grown up and have experienced enough shit in your life to finally see the real you. AND who exactly is going to allow you to be yourself and live the way you intend while remaining happy.

Once we have screamed through our chest for the final time - THIS IS WHO I AM AND I LOVE IT!!!! We begin to create the new Us - maybe this starts to occur most around 30? I don't wanna put a specific on that because I am not aware of actual research and some are late...late...bloomers. Anyways, dating becomes new - or the relationship in which you are already living in starts to bloom into this new - grown you's. It becomes easier to make instant decisions about someone or something - that's if you stay true to yourself(it's hard and we are challenged daily). I remember a year ago - I was on a date with someone and I suddenly felt "It" - THIS was not gonna work. I spoke instantly and said you know what? I think I'm gonna go home. I wish you the best. ...and WOW!!! This feeling rushing over me was intense! I was honest, real, and true to myself and it FELT AMAZING!!! Now I didn't say that there wasn't gonna be some lonely nights because that would be a lie. BUT, the feeling of being perfectly content with who you are starts to become your new best friend and the fear of not having someone(as in, just ANYONE, to do just deal with) slowly slips away. With this - the new you starts to shine and finding the great one(cause there is no right) is like Mario Brothers Nintendo - collecting mushrooms and jumping blocks makes tapping the ? marks all the more fun!!! Anyway...back to the real point of this - letting go of something I knew I should was a great feeling. It was the last of the ? marks in my old life and WHEW do I feel great!

Let him/her go.

You will feel better. The Great One will arise!!! And most of all...Love Yourself. THAT is the true answer to any question.

beSelfish. enter.resting.

Is it forever...

If a friend or yourself has/is living through a personal transformation, which may or may not change life forever, there is still the drowning question of whether or not this change will define you or help you to grow right?

We don’t need a specific instance to help explain the way you feel when the moment arises…you’re alone and wondering how you are going to tell someone something, or rather, not tell someone something. Or maybe you’re just struggling with yourself and how you’re going to tell your mind that your heart’s decision messed up this time - or vice versa.


The results came back: It’s announced that YOU are the new guest on the list with the - Possibly Defining Intruder to your body.

The results came back: You’re pregnant…now what? Which pill will you swallow?

The results came back: It appears that this job will not work for you…how will you pay your bills? Who will hire you next? What will you learn from this loss and what will you seek from your new employer?

The results came back: It appears that you just can’t seem to stay out of trouble…

Nonetheless, it’s scary.

What would you give for the answer to your problem? Would you pay a psychiatrist?

So where’s this going? Confused yet? The point of this rant is to say there is no answer that can change what you’re feeling during the time of transition.

Figuring out the answer is the first part of the problem but it will never take away the dark moments we encounter alone - when you’re all alone…and no one can help you. Even if someone offered to help it certainly wouldn’t do much. (Most times.)

I want to know…how do YOU feel when you’re alone in this moment? How do YOU deal with it? How do YOU deal with it without losing your mind? What do you do the day after? I’m tired of hearing things like “Rise to the occasion!” And don’t feel bad if that’s something you say often…who cares anymore if we will rise to the occasion…we all understand how to, and some of us can even “Rise to the occasion” quite often, but that still doesn’t expose the darker side to any of it…the real human emotion behind living with our decisions/actions/realities…no one else can feel them.

So riddle me this…Is it forever? Are these feelings forever suppressed? Will the dark emotions that drag me down when I’m alone at night, confronting my decisions last forever? Even after I have made the transition and am now living with it in the present? Will it continue to haunt me? And if not, again I ask - genuinely, how do you deal with it without losing your mind?

Thanks for reading. If it made sense ;)

Ain’t Noooooo Sunshine In Thiiissss Blooogggg….

enter.resting.