4th Day of House sitting...

Many of you know that I have started a month long journey of house sitting. The people I am sitting for also have two small dogs, hence the house sitting. My kids are here too - obviously. My normal life consists of living with my mother(moved in last year) and my younger brother who has friends in/out of our house all day! The point here is that I thought that this would be a nice time for me to see how it feels to live alone again. Don't you dare say this in front of the kids though because they say with sad faces - but you're not alone mommy. We are here too. It's different. Can't explain that to them - this alone feeling. Well...I have decided after day 4 that I don't like living alone. Although the kids are around and we have tons of space to do whatever we want - there is this adult presence that is missing - and I miss that - from living with my mother/brother. Around 7pm is when you realize you're alone again. The house is quiet. Dinner is done and the kids are ready to prepare for their decent to sleep land. And then, there you are. Alone. I'm not saying I am missing the presence of a man or my mother but something is...not here. I'm sure - in fact, I know I can do this. Living alone. But what I wanna be clear about now is that - I just don't like it. I like having chaos around. I like to hear the streets with people making noise over near Colfax and my brother and his music - djing alllllllllll day and night.

Friends coming and going. The kids running in and out of the house and my mother yelling at them to STOP SLAMMING THE DOOR!!!! I even miss my mom yelling at me about cleaning up our shit!

I like family and I like when they live together. I even have a good friend as my neighbor - and that makes my home feel even bigger. Friends and family right at my hands reach. Let's be clear here though - I am not referring to not liking independency. That I can do - I know this. But, I have decided I don't want too. Hmmmm...now what? Time to make Sunday morning breakfast for the kids and I and it doesn't feel the same. Cooking for three only. Cheers to family and friends being close. Some don't have that opportunity. I am grateful.

enter.resting.