EFF the BUDDY - it's time for a friend...

No matter what you're doing...studying, working, making a career for yourself, running, hanging with friends or whatever other productive THING you might do - the thought of a man is ALWAYS in the back of your mind. Today - I was driving and thought - Fellas, the game has changed for you. This isn't something new to talk about but it's my turn now darn it. In these times - the present day...women have obviously become more independent in their needs but just how far will it go? How much more will we take on and/or start doing for ourselves?? I see a lot of Facebook postings about sayings that men think toward women and most always I

them. Not because it seems obvious that a male would think such an opinion but rather because I think they are just as appropriate for what me and my lady friends are thinking. Such as this one from yesterday....

First off - come over? Nowadays...I don't even want you in MY house. And in reverse I don't wanna drive to your house JUST to have sex. I mean, sometimes that's alright but more and more I am becoming too lazy for even that. Or it turns into the idea of why would I wanna drive ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL the way over to your house just to get our boogie on and then leave WHEN I could instead - hang out with my girl friends, go to dinner, or a movie, chill and then MAYBE just maybe I'll wanna end my night at your place BUT most likely what happens now is I'd rather go home with me, myself and I. That's not a stuck up approach it's more of a ME approach. What do I want? Because doing what I want is more pleasing. Duh.

I believe women today act more like men (according to stereo types) - or are we finally understanding what you fellas have been up to all these years? Really it's just being selfish with our time and who you choose to spend it with - "saving the drama for your mama" - perhaps? But more so it simply isn't enough for me/us anymore and I don't need you like that. Driving all the way over to a man's house who isn't your boyfriend - spending about an hour or so with him and then you're gone?!

Hmmmmm, that scenario is starting to seem wasteful and boring in regards to my time. Maybe that's just me and my girls growing up?? Tell me. Because I think I'll choose the guy who actually wants to have a conversation outside of the bed and then maybe even go outside and play for a while - do something active!!! That seems more fun to me. And, it is becoming easier and easier with each day to turn men away. Some men think just because they have a good time in bed to offer that THAT should be enough for you to wanna come over and play? NAWWWWWW - I'll take the other options for $500 Alec!!!!

NOW, let me clarify some things about this whole topic I'm wasting time talking about at this coffee shop before I go to work...I am not expecting anyone to say the obvious like - well you know if you want a man to love you then you shouldn't just go over and give him booty anyway or well, duh...obviously it's more fun to hang out with a guy and go on dates and then maybe go further with him. I know all this and if I was pursuing a boyfriend right now I would take a more proper approach at dating and do such. This is about grown folks business. Simply saying that the traditional EffBuddies is outdated - I'll take an EffBuddy that wants to go to the park - kick a ball and then go home and play. But wasting my time anymore with someone who doesn't even wanna be your friend at the least? No thanks.

Now men...don't get all butt hurt - but seriously it's time for you to step your game up (I'm not excusing women either in the stepping your game up, I'll blog about that later...) OR you'll be the one at home crying - not us anymore. I mean, show a little bit of human...hang with us or get left by us. That's just how we roll now... enter.resting.

lOOse threads.....SHABBA!!!!

there's a string that tickles me softly occasionally - sometimes i forget it's there but then, i'll be walking around, sitting with a friend having a conversation, or ordering coffee, and just like a soft wind...that strings has tickled me again, reminding me that indeed-it is still there. it would only take a quick second to grab some scissors and SNIP! it'd be gone.

kinda of like the one person who have in your life that you know could be cut in an instant and you would eventually survive without them. it's not to say that we are ranting about someone in the current, just that there is usually a person that you choose to let tag along - forgetting the mess they create in your life until they tickle you again - and create an annoyance in which you say....i need to CUT that person out of my life, it would be so much easier!

yeah well, its not that easy right? you see, just like a loose thread - so is this person that you keep forgetting about...it's not really affecting your wearing of the, lets say - pair of jeans, and its not something i generally think twice about after i remember it being there while slipping on my pair of jeans, rather, you'll be standing in line, ordering coffee and then "Tickle...tickle" there it is, an annoyance that you can't particularly deal with at the current moment but am reminded that you need to cut that string...

funny that when you finally cut that string, especially the one inside your sock, or the one that likes to cause annoyance by the armpit area, or the one that is in the middle of your inside jean crotch area - you feel a sudden gratitude toward yourself. The pants or whatever it may be feel different. a small annoyance finally gone - my friend and i have determined that letting these lOOse threads go, or cutting them off - is only beneficial to you, and will help your life run more smoothly, so then why do we wait so long to cut them? why the laziness? hmmm....i'm not sure but it was something to think about...briefly, that is until the next lOOse thread comes along, in fact, i saw one today, while ordering coffee, on my sleeve. damn it.

enter.resting.

Have a holly Jolly Christmas eh!

I suppose I ought to get this JOLLY blog out before the holiday season is over and JOLLY doesn’t have quite the impact it does during the holiday season…

that said…

What is a JOLLY? Do you know one? Are you living with one? Is your best friend a JOLLY and you just don’t want to admit it?

Well then - I’ll say it for all of us!

Judgmental Opinionated Loud (mouth) Lurking (around) You!

I recently had to boot a JOLLY out of my life - SHE might say that SHE kicked me to the curb but that’s only because she is a Judgmental Opinionated Loud (mouth) and wouldn’t be able to see that her actions caused her own demise.

Now, if you have a JOLLY in your life - you might be hesitant to see them because no one wants to lose a friend, lover, or anyone that may mean something to you. If you take a step back and analyze all the events that have taken place during your relationship with said person, you might finally see the harm they are adding to your life development, growth, and the fact that you are who you hang out with. Never thought this was so true until I analyzed this said friendship - constantly dealing with judgments that have no backbone - gaining nothing more than opinions not lived by her own self, and finally -dealing with Loud (mouth) ignorance.

Don’t take this blog in the wrong text now - I’m not judging, placing opinions or screaming this out to you all - rather venting about the people who are JOLLY - and have made my life uncomfortable - I’m screaming out that I -Kalina Ross am done with dealing with anyone who can’t see the good in me - or want me to look at my life, when they should be looking at their own. The point to any relationship is to have someone who listens without judgment or opinions. Someone who is there for you when you mess up or will help you to make better decisions through ideas and advice - that you may not always take but listen too only for the extra thought.

I have always discussed with my friends the part that I play when it comes to their life -

It is not within my power or would it be a good friend if I sat here and constantly nagged you about every decision you made in your life. I am simply here to be your extra ear when you need to complain about a decision you made in your life, the boyfriend you kept around that I might have known from the beginning was a dumper, the money you spent while we sipped beers together, knowing that the money you were spending was the electric bill that is now calling you to threaten a disconnect BUT it will always come down to the part I play in your life. Yes, a friend should be honest but a good friend knows when a lesson is to be learned, or might know that this pattern of complaining about a guy is pretty much the same things they have been spilling out year after year - and you know to shut up and that - this(man) too, shall pass.

I am here to listen and not Judge you. Listen and not form Opinions about what you should be doing. Act together while out on a fun Friday night - and yes, being the Loud (mouth) girls in the bar! Lurking around our same problems over conversations night after night. And lastly, be there for You! That is my part in your life - not to become a JOLLY - to me that only indicates that I have nothing better to do, or am trying to make excuses for my own life - nobody needs that.

Finally...

Let’s have a TOAST to the JOLLY’s! Let’s have a toast to this Christmas! And letting them GO! Baby, I got a plan…RUN AWAY - as fast as you can from a JOLLY - before they place stress in your life that you don’t need!

Have a safe holiday - I'll be glad when they are over! Bah-Hum-Bug these....

enter.resting.

Thanks for reading. Again. Or not. Love you all either way.